If you’re going to complain about something, then you damn well better stick by it. Too many times I hear about people complaining about the fact that companies have too many kids working in sweatshops while wearing Nike, American Eagle and Gap apparel. Nothing makes you like a bigger fucking retard than being a hypocrite. And to teach hypocricy in our schools is bullshit. While having opinions and being an individual is important, when your opinion is obviously, wrong then it’s time to shut the fuck up.

Our world is pretty fucked up, wouldn’t you agree? I mean look at Rebecca Schaeffer. She was an up and coming actress who was shot point black by a crazy who’d been stalking her for the three years prior to the shooting. the shooter’s name is Robert John Bardo and he’s incarcerated at Mule Creek State Prison so feel free to send him your opinion in the mail. If this crazy didn’t shoot Schaeffer than maybe Mary Corleone wouldn’t have been so detrimental to Godfather Part III’s success. Rebecca Schaeffer was due to try out for the part of Mary Corleone in Godfather, Part III on the day she died. See I do my fucking homework, how bout you do yours?

The world needs to change, that much can be assumed. We can’t keep letting crazies like Bardo walk the streets and quite literally ruin society. No one can control the crazyness of human nature but we should at least try to restrain crazies right? It’s heart-breaking to read that the peace logo has been in use for over 45 years but still there is no peace. It seems that all effort to try and implement it has died down and that all the focus goes toward environmental purposes. What good is a healthy Earth when not everyone can enjoy the full benefits of it? If you are reading this post from the comfort of your own home, then you should remember that you are very privileged. You should feel no need to complain about petty issues.

I know that my tone has died down a bit from the last post but that literally wraps up the Rant on Retards segment for today.

Jake Brooks is a Toronto based writer. All works, including this one, may not be deciminated with out express written consent.

In our society there are just too many people who need to shut the fuck up. Oh wait, did I offend you? If yes, then you’re one of them. It seems that no matter what the hell happens, there’s always some bullshit activist group or some neanderthals with picket signs protesting in front of the A&P for selling Maple Leaf Ham products because they’re afraid of swine flu. What the fuck?

I find that people are most offended when the offensive material is in a video game. Shitty parents don’t give a fuck when their kid goes and snorts a pound of cocaine or watches hentai with their uncles but when it comes down to video games? Oh no you didn’t. People go the most apeshit when there’s offensive things in video games.

Shitty parents listen up because I’m tired of you making other Republicans like me look bad. There’s a whole shitload of people working at the ESRB trying to make sure that little Jimmy is not playing Grand Theft Auto on his DSi. On games that your ten year old kid should not be playing, there’s a giant ass ‘M’ on the box in two fucking places. That M stands for mature and on the back they put it again with why it’s rated mature, things like “Drug and Alcohol Use”, “Extreme Violence”, and “Blood”. Now before you ask why they make these games, no I said before you ask, let me explain why video game devs make these games. Adults used to be children, correct? And children play video games and children also grow up right? Well the majority of these video games are made for adults, meaning that they’re not for little Jimmy or Suzie Q playing in the sandpit. If you as a parent cannot or will not take the time to look at the box to find one letter than you don’t have the right to be a parent. However, if you feel that it’s ok that your 15 year old is playing GTA, and I’m not looking down on you when I say that, if you feel that it’s ok then that’s great. But if you’re the one who bought the kid the game, and you felt that GTA was ok for little Jimmy, then you cannot complain to the game developers and you should shut the fuck up.

Jake Brooks is a Toronto based blogger. This post may not be deciminated in any way shape or form without express written consent

Now, I’m not here to bitch and moan, so if that’s what you’re reading this for, I’m sorry, this is not that kind of post. I need a way that I can give my opinion about this goddamn team in a sensible way. If you don’t know this by now, I’ll fill you in. Way back when, at the beginning of the season, say April-ish, I was excited for the season. I listened to all the games, went out to a lot of games at the Dome, commented on forums, you name it and I’ve probably done it. This whole damn season, I’ve been there for the Jays, from the great start, to the losing streak, and hell even to Johnny Mac’s fourth dinger of the year. Many friendships have suffered because of my support for the Jays and it’s heartbreaking to see that the Jays will be going through the same shitstorm next year; the ssame shitstorm that they’ve been going through since Gillick left. Next season, I’m going to be ignoring the Blue Jays or at least until AA gives us direction that this team will be going in. If we’re going to go balls-out next year and compete, hell I’ll be there. If we’re going to rebuild and try to compete in a couple of years, I’ll still be there. You can’t choose the middle of the fence here, that’s clearly not an option.

But for now, I’m done with the Jays. How do I know this? I’ll tell you. Everytime I played MLB: 09 I felt like I had an obligation to play as the Blue Jays but now, I feel more inclined to play as some other team. A “better” team, one that actually has a direction as to where the organization is going. So for now, it’s goodbye, Blue Jays

Jake DeVille

EDIT: By the way, some douchebag over at youtube decided not to allow embedding so I spent an extra twenty minutes looking for an embeddable one. So you better watch it.

BJ Ryan’s Playing Career

Love Will Find A Way

Here we go. Y’know what, I’ve decided I’m not gonna limit myself to songs. Here’s my choice for picture of the week and these will update on Mondays. This picture is just something I found on my wall downstairs while I was cooking a scrumptious meal. Enjoy.

Delightful (and you aren’t HAHA!),

Gollum

A long, long time ago,

There once was a man named Harold Labour, the same man who coined the term “hard labour” while observing his workers sow the seeds (and also coined the term, FILF), and he realized that man, there are too many people working their asses off and they don’t get the recognition or the money that they deserve. And so, he set out to find a system that allowed workers to work at minimum wage and for those workers to not be allowed to complain as much as they did back then. (Historian’s Sidenote- they didn’t complain on Labour’s Farm, you’d get the whip for that). And so, Labour set off to form this thing called the “union”, where the union workers could form together as one and complain to the “man” as one; and there was nothing that the people could do back then because it was a large group.

Now, I hear you wondering out loud, why would Labour allow his workers to complain? Well he did it for the same reason why Schindler helped the Jews escape from the holocaust, to do something good for the world. (Schindler has a movie, but then again Labour has the holiday.) And for those of you who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, watch Schindler’s List.

Now back to the story. Now that Labour finally finished what he set out to do, he decided that he needed something to, not only commemorate this phenomenon, but he needed something to brag about. Something that he could look back on and say, holy shit, I made a literally pointless holiday. To help spread news about his new holiday, Labour set up fireworks displays all around York (prehistoric Toronto), and he also made sure that all his workers wore white. Not to mention the fact that he set it up so that each successive Labour Day was on a different day. Also, a little known fact is that Labour also tried to make a “Labour Day Eve” on which you set up for Labour Day, but it wasn’t so successful. But all in all, it didn’t really take long before people were attracted to the fireworks (and free shirts) and so, Labour Day was created.

Today, we still celebrate Labour Day (and I still celebrate Labour Day Eve), still on a different date each year. We still do fireworks but we don’t really white clothes so much. If you are looking for someone to thank for this wonderous holiday, don’t thank the government, thank me, for informing you.

With you now and forever,

Harold Labour

Legal Notes:

This article is used by permission from Harold Labour’s book, Holy Shit? I Can Write?. The accounts of this article may not be reproduced in any way shape or form. Please take this article with a tiny grain of salt. And please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t reference this as fact. Please?

I don’t consider Jamie my friend, but he seemed like an ok guy. While broadcasting, he would always make sure to describe every last detail he saw and while I see that as persevering, Jamie was the play-by-play for the television network, and I think it’s ok if I say that most television viewers can see for themselves. Jamie Campbell, despite his blatent flaws, was a decent man and you could see that by the way he carried himself. I can honestly say that from the bottom of my heart (well I’d have to have a heart first).

Mr. Campbell will be, undoubtedly, be missed by many. His family, the merry men at Sportsnet and the television viewers. It is with great displeasure that I give this eulogy and I hope that Jamie is well-received in the afterlife.

Goodnight from Toronto, Ontario,

Jamie Campbell’s (Often-Used) Mic

But still. A few things shine out from
this game.
1) Randy “The Kid” Ruiz was beaned in the head.
- I think that’s it’s about damn time that Cito started showing that he actually cared about his players getting hit by retaliating. Nothing says “hit out players” more than doing nothing. Hell the only pitchers on this team who’d do it are League and Roenicke. Maybe Litsch if he could still throw but yeah, he blew out his elbow while losing, excuse me, pitching in early April.
2) Quality of Play
Well, the Yankees have an excuse as to why they weren’t really playing well today. The Yankees need rest as they’ve already bought themselves playoff seats. And I think that is pretty damn obvious the Jays won’t be making the playoffs for a LONG while. So what’s up? First off, I’ve seen Little League World Series matches played better than this. Hell if your viewers would rather watch the Little League World Series (they were pretty damn good.), then you’ve got a problem. Damn.
3) Aaron Hill
Thank you Aaron Hill Looks like I am going to win the bet with my grandpa from when I said that you’d beat Robert Alomar’s RBI record with the Jays. Rogers Baseball Operations were smart to keep you.

All in all, the Jays played like shit. But who’s surprised? I, for one, am not.

Writing while hidden in a piano,

Kid #2 From the 5th inning Cleanup Crew

Well to start things off, I thought I might post one of my favourite songs as my song of the week. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Perfect Situation by Weezer. Released by Weezer in December ’05, it is well received by many when they first listen to it.  Here, I’ll embed it for you. It’s the music video mind you, and in the music video they use the alternate version. I couldn’t find the (better) album version. Whoops, sorry. And for those clutzes out there, it’s the video at the beginning of the post. Dumbass.

Yours sincerely,

Prince Fielder’s Pot Belly.